The defence rests...

In response to Marcel Berlins' complaint that modern barristers are boring, two lawyers have written to the Guardian with a couple of memories that prove that not all QCs are dull:

When representing a man charged with masturbating a dolphin, Tony had adduced evidence that the aquatic mammal sometimes uses its sexual organ as a foraging tool. In closing, he reminded the jury that "You don't often see a man pushing his trolley round Tesco's with his penis, do you?". Unable to disagree, they duly acquitted.

Blimey...

Wide shut to the possibilities...

Via Jenny Davidson, a salutary warning from the Indy about the dangers of not doing a background check when hiring out your stately home for the night:

Last weekend, employees at the 17th-century manor house, which is accustomed to hosting corporate dos and chocolate-box weddings for well-heeled clients, were left speechless when 350 masked guests stripped off at the stroke of midnight and engaged in group sex of bacchanalian proportions.

According to those who witnessed the spectacle, security guards gave up trying to persuade copulating couples to go to their rooms because almost every guest at the party was "otherwise engaged" with a fellow reveller.

How embarrassing...