New DNA database needed

[sawyl]

Never mind a DNA database that holds the genetic fingerprint of every human being in the UK, what we need is a database of canine DNA. That way, the police would be able to track down the errant dog owners who allow their pets to crap all over the pavement and crucify them. The whole system would be funded, Brazil style, by selling off the offender's possessions because, let's face it, they're not going to need them after they've spent a few hours nailed to a cross.

Phew. Now that I've got that off my chest, I'm off to clean my shoes...