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Garcia making herself up in mirror. A existential, slightly-noirish voiceover. Cut to woman with 40s makeup and a man with an old style movie camera and light. She's tied up: all is not what it seems. "Everyday since, I have put on a mask to hide what no suffocates me: the truth. And nothing speaks louder than the truth" Celluloid. The starlet is reading dialogue with the director. Cue a very Hitchcockian exit, complete with a Bernard Herman sound track. And the trick of Garcia's monologue opening is revealed in a very satisfying way. "Seen a lot over the years. But nothing like this." COTW is appropriately noir, standing there in the rain. Reid discussing the murderer's cannibalistic tendencies whilst eating a pastry.

Marilyn Monroe for the opening quote. COTW had hoped to retire without seeing his name in print: he's the polar opposite of the UNSUB. The Rhett at the train station. I love the scenes with the child, especially the final payoff. "I'll never get used to that..." "There's something in her throat" Reid has a tougher stomach than the ME. At least it's not a moth. "Chloroform. The Glamour shots. It all feels like a throwback to the last to another century" Them's the words on the paper in the throat. "Derek, you're doing that silence that means you're on to something" Oh my, I've just worked out what Rhet's doing and I'm grossed out by it. We're in Psycho territory. Nice reveal of the Hill Ripper's latest victim. "In a matter of hours, she'll be more famous than you will ever be!"

Garcia is a make up guru (wouldn't it have been funnier if they'd given those lines to Reid? It's just the sort of weird thing he'd know) Three act structure. Again with the titivation and the photography. Great shot of Robert Knepper with his back to the mirror. Meanwhile, back at the station, Reid is making an arse of himself: "Well, standing in the middle gawking at passing women would certainly attract attention. Like you're doing now." "What's that? " "Just like that! An IQ of 187 is slashed to 60!" Prentiss FTW! Hotch has an encyclopedic knowledge of parking in the District. I like Penny — she's smart and determined and autonomous. (The blood spatter from the chloroform hanky is a nice touch) Ugh. What the FBI need a spokes-Garcia. In blonde.

A dolly zoom. Because it wouldn't be a Hitchcock homage without one. "I have a phobia about having a video camera even pointed at me" This from the woman who spends her life on FaceTime. Morgan with the pep talk. Nicely demented scene with Penny and Rhett on the couch. Penny Hanley's father crashes the news conference. Ah, I see, they're trying to force the UNSUB to dump the body. "Do have a lead in the Hill Ripper Case?" "No we don't. We have an address." Melodrama. Hotch and Rossi practice their curb crawling skills. Winged him! He lives on Hope Street? And now for the final twist. Another very definite win where everyone gets to go home happy.

"We all have things for ourselves, y'know. You have property. I have the theatre." Slumlord versus leading actress. No comparison. We end as we began: with Garcia facing an audience, this time populated by her co-workers (Sounds a bit like the stuff of one of my nightmares). The closing quote isn't so much a closing quote as the trailing end of the monologue that opened the show: "Maybe that's why in all of us lives a dark side. Some of us embrace it. Some have no choice. The rest of us fight it. And in the end, it's as natural as the air we breathe. Some point, we're forced to face the truth: ourselves."

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