Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing

Wow. Doctor Who certainly lived up to the expectations raised by last week's episode.
( Spoilers... )
Let's hope next week's ep is of a similarly high standard.

Charlie Brooker has suggested twelve ways that the next series of 24 could be changed to make it watchable. Particularly fine is suggestion four:

Make the next season a blatant Fantastic Voyage rip-off, in which Jack is miniaturised and injected into Lindsay Lohan's body. He has 24 hours to save her liver from permanent damage by fighting off invading "alcohol cells" with his bare hands. Not only is this a superb cautionary tale for younger viewers, it means the finale will culminate in an eye-popping sequence in which Jack, midway through transforming back to his original dimensions, squeezes out of Lohan's bottom and flops triumphantly into an aluminium medical tray, where he thrashes around, covered in mucus, the same size as a rat. Don't tell me you wouldn't remember THAT for the rest of your life.

Hell, an idea like that might even be enough to persuade me back to 24, but only if it featured Donald Pleasence, Raquel Welch and lurid technicolor special effects.

Given the paean of praise to Heros that composed today's Cable Girl, I've started to wonder whether it might be possible to get a T-shirt emblazoned with the slogan, "Lucy Mangan is my master now"

Yay, yay, my package from the Open University has just arrived, so it looks like I'm not going to have to stay in all afternoon waiting for it!

In related news, it seems as though tomorrow sees the last ever broadcast of an OU TV program. I feel like one of the last lingering links with my childhood has been cut — I have this suspicion that, during the 1980s, someone must have brought in a law that required BBC2 to show nothing but test cards or Open University programs at all times, because that's all I can ever remember it showing. All those kipper ties and polyester flares are going to be sadly missed.

Another passing, this time a sad one: Nigel Kneale, a towering figure of British TV and SF, has died. The Guardian has both an obit and a memorial piece by Mark Gatiss. Let's hope someone decides to repeat some of Kneale's work as a tribute.

Time travel, Queen Victoria, kung-fu monks, a werewolf, terror by the bucketload and the promise of Tony Head in next week's episode, today's Dr Who had it all. So scary was it, in fact, that I suspect I might never sleep again...

I've finally managed to watch the BBC's live remake of the Quatermass Experiment from April 2005. The Beeb did a pretty decent job of it, despite not having broadcast any live TV dramas since the early 80s, and managed to keep a surprising amount of the dialog from Nigel Kneale's original script of 1953. Definitely interesting and well worth a watch.

What with Christmas coming up and all, I notice that various people have been jotting down their thoughts on best this and that of the year. Not to be left behind by this weeks' memetic gravy train, I've scribbled down a few thoughts too.

Year of Our War by Steph Swainston. Probably my favourite book of the year, this tells the story of a group of fifty immortals who take the lead in the war against a species of giant insect that are trying to take over the world. It probably contains some of the best characterisations of any novel I've read recently — the erratic, occasionally remorseful, often drug addled Jant Shira in particular is very well written, as are his two great friends the proud, lineage obsessed, aristocratic Lightening and the crude wife beating sailor Shearwater Mist. Actually, all the characters are very well balanced, with a mixture of hidden virtues and vices, so although it's possible to like them, it's hard to agree with everything they do. I guess the fact that it's technically a fantasy novel counts against it, but unlike most of the sword and sandal genre, it's actually pretty subtle and educational: I had no idea what a fyrd was until I read this.

Firefly by Joss Whedon. Definitely one of the best TV series of the last couple of years: God only knows why the network decided to can it. They must have been insane. Anyway, it follows the adventures of the crew of the Firefly class transport ship Serenity through a strange future world that mixes sci-fi elements with old fashioned westerns. It's got a really great cast, some really snappy dialog thanks to Whedon's team of Buffy and Angel honed writers and some totally fabulous sets that create a more realistic looking future than anything Lucasian and on a fraction of the budget. If you've seen the film Serenity and haven't bought the TV series, then you've only seen half the picture. If you haven't seen either, you might like to check your pulse to ensure that you really are still alive...

1602 by Neil Gaiman. A strange fusion of history and classic Marvel characters that really seems to work. In the year 1602, the world is being troubled by supernatural storms, Queen Elizabeth is dying and the Spanish Inquisition is actively trying to burn every member of the heretical Witchbreed left in Europe. Virginia Dare, the first child born to the Roanoke colony has sailed to England with her protector Rohjaz to seek aid from the Queen, Royal Magician Stephen Strange has foreseen that a Templar artifact of great power is being sent to England from Jerusalem and Sir Nicolas Fury is concerned by the plotting of Otto von Doom and James IV of Scotland.

At coffee today, we were trying to decide which TV characters we most resembled. Here are some conclusions:

doctor_squale - borderline psychopathic misanthrope, man of action, someone willing to carry out morally dubious acts for the greater good, constantly talking to the president on his cell or getting the latest info from CTU, the Good Doctor is Jack Bauer incarnate.

vincel - blazer wearing, boater toting, sophisticate with a mysterious past and obsessive interest in knowing who is in ultimate charge. Constantly coming up with elaborate plans to escape the lunacy of the Menagerie, continually asserting his freedom and individually, Vincel is absolute embodiment of The Prisoner.

sawyl - nerdy, specy, tweed clad, overly English with a passion for books and libraries, I was never really going to be anyone other than Rupert Giles, was I?

For some unknown reason, the rest of the gang declined to contribute to the discussion. Probably worried they'd end up as a character from Eastenders or Emmerdale or something...