Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing

According to Madeleine Bunting's article yesterday, "every person in Britain will have spent, on average, 366 pounds each" on presents. Since I don't plan on spending anything like that — yeah, I know, but I'm like way parsimonious — that means that there must be people spending more than 366 quid on their prezzies. So the question is, who are these profligate spendthrifts and, more importantly, do any of them want to be my friends?