Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing

Nothing says paranoia like a thousand locks on your front door. Es turns her sister in. Is that C. Thomas Howell? I rather think it is! Talking heads to bring us back to speed. Venice Beach because, well, why not? I like the sympathic way Esther takes Gwen's arm. Ellis Hartley Munroe: Sarah Palin by any other name. "Come on Vera! I've seen what you can do with the doctor-patient relationship and the Hypocratic Oath? It doesn't cover it!" Hah! I like Rex and Vera's relationship. Cue the plague hospital. Juarez' horribly impractical shoes add a nice flash of colour. What's the long term strategy? Turning people into plasma?

Nice camp turn from the biker landlord. "We can order that spare server..." Ah, Alias territory. Great sunny backdrop for Gwen's complaining phone call. "Is that a seagull?" "Er... It's a woman... On the rampage. A mad woman. " Eve Myles may have the best accent on god's green earth! Howells has made it to LA. Jack paraphrases the opening of chapter 27 of Middlemarch:

An eminent philosopher among my friends, who can dignify even your ugly furniture by lifting it into the serene light of science, has shown me this pregnant little fact. Your pier-glass or extensive surface of polished steel made to be rubbed by a housemaid, will be minutely and multitudinously scratched in all directions; but place now against it a lighted candle as a centre of illumination, and lo! the scratches will seem to arrange themselves in a fine series of concentric circles round that little sun. It is demonstrable that the scratches are going everywhere impartially and it is only your candle which produces the flattering illusion of a concentric arrangement, its light falling with an exclusive optical selection. These things are a parable. The scratches are events, and the candle is the egoism of any person now absent...

Danes' thing with the bottles of water has a nice feeling of ritual to it. Kitzinger reveals her true feelings for once. Danes' experience an internet predator comes in handy: he recognises the patterns of a bunch of fellow creeps. Nice arch look from Kitzinger. Rex, too, has family issues: his estranged father's dealing black market pharma. I like Esther's hippy-chick mufti. She seems to be the only one worried about recognition — Jack, Gwen and Rex have all stuck with their established wardrobes. Cue Alias retread: server 113 == server 13 in Phase One and the biometrics thing exactly mirrors the ones in The Solution... OK, Gwen's American accent? Excruciating. "You're so never doing that accent again." "I'm mortified! I'm absolutely mortified" Serious lantern hanging.

The plague hospital has become a dumping ground. "The hospices are closing down" Why? Surely they're best placed to deal with the consequences of the Miracle. Again with the impractical shoes, Dr J. Danes trumps Hartley Monroe with his messianic stunt. "This is disgusting." "I know!" Kitzinger is manically excited.

Howells, too, has worked out how to crack Phicorp's security system. I wonder if his method involves a spork? And what does this say about his links with Phicorp if he needs to break in? A lesson in trashing hard discs with a blow lamp. Es learns that actions have consequences. I take it back: Gwen seems to have raided Vera's wardrobe. Nice choice of alias. The old phone divert trick? OK, this is getting ridiculous. "Whoever wears heels to work is heroic. Why do women put up with these things?" Gwen speaks for anyone who's ever wondered about Es and Vera's absurd footware. The disc draws seem to use RJ45 connectors. Rex realises the Awful Troof, just before the Awful Troof turns up and brains Gwenie. Jack makes a schoolboy error. Howells unburdens while Rex takes up tower running. The Miracle relates to something Jack gave someone a long time ago. "A miracle's yet to come. A new society being forged here on earth and I'd like to guarantee my place." All very millenarian. "They are everywhere. They are always. They are no-one." Sinister. "They once had names. Long ago. And those names..." And Rex shoots him.

Danes is trending, replacing the missing Ellis Hartley Monroe at a rally. The triangle speaks, repeating Howells' mantra about identity. And, ooh, talk about a sticky end. Es ties the conspiracy back to the overflow camps and plague hospitals. And Reece's Good News is suddenly Bad News and we've got a cliffhanger ending...

Cue faux branded planes. I like Lyn's first line about pissing around the plane. Reece explains it all: "Everything mortal becomes immortal, so everything immortal becomes mortal." Gwen doesn't have a lot of confidence in Reece's parenting skills. "All I could find was an apirin. It was in the co-pilot's pocket. I gave it a quick spritz to get the lint off..." Start of running gag about the air steward's sexuality. "Six hours of boredom followed by monotony" Rex tempts fate. CIA Charlotte with the exposition, but Esther's line is that nothing is certain. Friedkin's bohonmie is way creepy. But his desktop is sharp.

Gwen and Jack have a heart-to-heart. Gwen condescending to Rex is a thing of beauty. But Rex has a plan. Rupert Sheldrake: drink! Lyn's email has three question marks when she sends it, but only two when it hits Friedkin's inbox... Friedkin has a RED phone. Swivel-eyed singularicist is ultra swivel-eyed and links to Oswald Danes raiding the green room and being way creepy. What's with the triangle on Friedkin's phone? Dr Juarez reinvents triage while Lyn plays evil bar tender. I love Danes' shift from reptilian arrogance to weepy contrition, intercut with reaction shots from the CIA bullpen; a nice mix of the convinced and the cynical. But backstage girl buys it. "One of these days you're actually going to have to commit yourself, Esther." And today might just be that day. "Jilly Kitzinger, Mr Danes. I something of a talnet spotter" July also likes RED. Mephistopheles, anyone? The card has to be significant.

"The world's screwed up. You want to help or not?" Passive-aggressive desk clerk is passive aggressive. Juarez indulges in expositional evesdropping. The antibiotics thing? Lantern hanging? "I look like hell" Yup. You've been poisoned. Esther and Rex look like they're being set up. Time to employ some social engineering. Meanwhile back on the plane: "What if you're wrong Rex? What if your big success is one Welsh woman and a dead body?" Gwen is a hardass. "Why would I take that? It's poison." "You just said..." "I just said it was quite an assumption. Yes, I carry poison..." Someone doesn't know much about the symptoms of cynanide poisoning or what cyanosis is. Luckily Rex has Vera on speed dial. Dr J recommends chelation therapy. "I'm a doctor not a chemist" Thanks Bones! Does EDTA bind to arsenic? I thought As bound BAL or DMPS, but I guess they're hard to make from everyday stuff. "If you're the best England's got to offer, then God help you!" "I'm Welsh." Best. Knockout. Ever.

The brains trust reckon that people are still ageing even if they're not dying. Dr J reckons palliatives are the only solution. Kitzinger pops up an opportune moment to tempt Juarez with a business card and a drug stockpile. Unlike Danes, Vera accepts both the card and a free sample of the drugs. Es tells Rex the Awful Troof. What happens if you break someone's neck in a world where they can't die? Oh, OK, Death Becomes Her is what happens.