Smut: A modest proposal

[sawyl]

I was reading through a piece on the Guardian books blog, when inspiration hit: why not solve the bad sex problem by moving all the smut to the end of the book?

Have you ever read a novel — soi-disant porn doesn't count — where the pacing of the story suffers, despite a decent plot, because of the author's tendency to stop every 20 pages and insert a gratuitous sex scene? What would happen if, instead of breaking the story for an episode of needless lustage, the author were to simply refer the reader to an appropriate section of filth in the appendix?

It seems to me that everyone wins. The author works his — I use the pronoun advisedly — frustration out, banging out a bit of fulsome erotica. The reader gets an plot unbroken by inordinate boinkage, with the option of extra sex if required or desired. The dedicated filth monger knows exactly where to find the beast making two backs, without having to waste time skimming through all that prose, whilst the moral crusader knows exactly which pages need to be redacted to protect the pure of mind.

It's such a great idea. How can it not work?

Comments

[doctor-squale.livejournal.com]

You are really a machine, aren't you ?

[sawyl.livejournal.com]

I prefer to think of myself as efficient; the different parts of my personality kept tidily in separate subroutines traits, ready for when they're needed...